“Indeed, the idea of ‘winning the girl’ – of overcoming female objections or resistance through repeated and frequently escalating efforts – is central to most of our modern romantic narratives. (Female persistence, by contrast, is viewed as pathetic.) And the more I think about instances of creepiness, harassment and stalking that culminate in either the threat or actuality of sexual assault, the more I’m convinced that a massive part of the problem is this socially sanctioned idea that men are fundamentally entitled to persist. Because if men are meant to persist, then women who say no must only be rejecting the attempt, not the man himself, so that every separate attempt becomes one of a potentially infinite number of keys which might just fit the lock of the woman’s approval. She’s not the one who’s allowed to say no, not really; she should be silent and passive as a locked door, waiting patiently while the man runs through however many keys he can be bothered trying. And if he gets sick of this lengthy process and just breaks in? Well, frustration under those circumstances is only natural. Either the door shouldn’t have been there to impede him, or it shouldn’t have been locked.”—
Interviewer: If There Was To Be a Fourth Wave, What Would It Be?
Me: It would be me. Now. It’s me in my unsafe surroundings trying to be safe. It’s for every girl who wants to be a woman with out having a man. It would be about being yourself without any consequences from the mainstream. It’s being everything that you want to be without feeling pressure to conform to a norm. All these things are fundamentally feminist. But it’s still a whisper in the dew of a new dawn. It’s not about being an empowered woman at all. It’s taking what is fundamentally ours and standing on a united front, without saying this or that is feminism. It’s whatever you believe is your calling is. There would be no set structure for what the wave would accomplish and I will call it a wave because there is enough power to have one but it’s going to be different from all the other waves before it. So many different women are now feeling the urge to change the world around them and they all have different ideas on how to do it. We all need strong people in this world to make it what it is, and believing you are essential to the whole thing is as important as breathing. Saying you as woman can do this.Until we have a fervor for that, we will still be in the third wave.
Interviewer: When and how do you see that happening?
Me: Well personally it can’t happen soon enough because we need to change the way we are thinking and how the world perceives us and focus more on how we see ourselves. As far as how it can start it can start tomorrow if we go into each day saying I’m going to be the best me that I can be and be unapologetic for that.